Three Little Birds

"I always like to look on the optimistic side of life, but I am realistic enough to know that life is a complex matter." -Walt Disney

Today is the day that I share that I am not pregnant from last month's "perfect timing" cycle. It took me a few days to get my mind and heart intact to actually write that I am without a doubt not pregnant. Isn't it crazy that you can get everything right and it's still not good enough?

I started taking Clomid again on Saturday, which was CD 3 for me. Today I am on CD 6 and feeling pretty good. Well, as good as can be.

It's ok, it's ok, it's ok...I have to remind myself, "It's ok!". It will happen when the time is right. I just really thought that I had such a strong chance. This might sound a little silly, but I feel inclined to even apologize to my readers...I know a few of you have high hopes for me, too. I really appreciate all of the nice messages and thoughtful things that are said to me. It's funny that in addition to the way I feel about not being pregnant, I feel bad for my readers as well. I had hoped to share good news with you.

So now I am in my second Clomid cycle. I hadn't mentioned this before, but last time (2 cycles ago) I took Clomid, it made me gain like almost 10 lbs!! This time I'm trying to be really aware of what I'm eating, how much I'm eating, and the exercise that I now HAVE to do. I lost most of what I gained last cycle, but not all. I cannot afford to gain it back or even worse, more weight than last time, NO WAY JOSE!

It is weird how Clomid can be kind of numbing. That extra boost of estrogen is almost like a punch in the stomach-literally I get a bit of a stomachache, but also figuratively-, especially after the woes that the progesterone made me endure. I have gone from crying at the drop of a hat the last 2 weeks to now feeling extremely nonchalant. Maybe it's a blessing? I haven't cried or gotten emotional about still TTC. I have taken one day at a time, still praying, but not wallowing. I think that's all I can do, right?

"As I look forward, I'm very optimistic about the things I see ahead." -Bill Gates

Me, too, -Natalie