Timing

"Life is all about timing...the unreachable becomes reachable,

the unavailable becomes available, the unattainable...attainable.

Have the patience. Wait it out.

It's all about timing." 

-Stacey Charter

It is just not my time to share the wonderful news that I so very much wish to share.

Matt and I have decided to take a break from Clomid.  Since I only have 3 cycles left to take it, we are just going to take it easy for a while...before jumping into the vigorous temp taking, Clomid swallowing that I have been doing.

...but I will not be a stranger to my blog that I so love.  I'll be back with next week's post.

I hope you all had a love-filled, wonderful Christmas.

See you next year, -Natalie

music for lack of words

"So can you understand,

why I want a daughter while I'm still young?

I wanna hold her hand and show her some beauty

before this damage is done.

But if it's too much to ask

if it's too much to ask...

...then send me a son."



Curiouser and curiouser...

"That's logic."

Ahoy, and other nautical expressions!

Oddly enough, I am two days into my 2ww! ...and I am only on cd 15! If you recall my previous blog posts, I am a late ovulator-I usually O on cd 23 or 24.  Just when I think that things are getting a little predictable, reality swoops in and says, "Oh, reeeeeally? You think you've got it figured out? Here's a dose of ME!"

 

Worst of all, it has made my mother right.  Having your mother be right can suck at any age. Especially when she comes from the old school mentality of "just relax, let it happen...".  Even though I had research and over a hundred days of taking my temperature to support me, my mom was able to pinpoint when I would O based on a feeling she had.

She told me about a week and a half ago to ttc on cycle days 13-16.

"...but Mom, I ovulate late. Historically."

"I know, but just keep it in mind for me. It's been on my mind to tell you this.

I just have a feeling."

The next thing you would have seen, if words of advice were visible, would be those words exiting out my right ear.  I had charts on my side. Averages. I did the thing that we daughters do oh so well: I smiled and nodded okay.  And then I forgot.

Skip forward to this past Friday, and I was having my follicles checked on cd 10.  It was kind of uncomfortable, but nothing to get nervous about, if I have to do it again.  Basically they are using a wand to check everything out from the inside.  I asked as many questions as I could think of.  They measured the amount of follicles I had on both ovaries, counted how many I had that were over 10 mm, and measured the lining of my uterus. 

fyi:

For a follicle to be deemed the "primary follicle" or "mature" it needs to be around 18mm.

Follicles grow 1-2 mm a day.

The lining of the uterus needs to be around 6-8 mm.

I had 5 follicles on my left ovary that were over 10 mm, and 6 follicles on my right ovary that were over 10 mm. The largest was on my right side and was almost 13 mm.  I was given three different measurements for my lining and they averaged out to be around 6 mm. Sounds pretty good, huh?  I was advised to begin taking opk's on cd 11. Sunday, cd 12, I had plans to drive to Waco to move my little sister home for the holidays from Baylor University (Well, hello RG3!).  I was BAFFLED when, just before I was about to leave, sans husband, I got a bfp opk! So baffled, in fact that I took 3 more opk's, just to be sure.  After I saw the second bfp opk, there was one thing I was sure of: there was no way I was leaving for Waco that night.

Needless to say, I postponed my trip until the following morning. 

I also ovulated that day-cd 13.  My temperature yesterday, cd 14 confirmed it with a huge spike from the progesterone that was released with the egg from the primary follicle. Did you know that progesterone actually attracts sperm?



In addition to furthering the maturing of the egg in the follicle, it links up to a protein that signals the sperm's tail to wiggle back and forth, helping it to propel to the egg, according to LiveScience.com.  DISCLAIMER: Please forgive me for all the information, I have become quite the fertility geek through my experience.

                                                                                                                                                           

To sum the last five days up, I now have an appointment to get my progesterone level checked again on cd 28.  My level is sure to be higher than the last time, which was .44,  since I am 99% sure I ovulated (still waiting on a third high temperature to fully confirm it). 

Until next week, my daydreaming is in full gear.  Hopefully, this Christmas - which is about two weeks away ;) - will be the best Christmas ever.

 Here's to singing "I'm late, I'm late, I'm late....",  -Natalie

                                                                      

          

Double it!

"You can take that, and double it!"

This guy, my husbands bff, knows all about "doubling it"...

...and now I do, too.

Last night was my last double dose of Clomid for my current cycle. The medications presence in my body has been pretty noticeable this new double time around. Oh, and something to know if you ever are on Clomid: When you go from 50mg to 100mg, you are not getting a different sized pill, you are taking two pills as opposed to one. ...and you are paying for the additional pills, too. That's right, I went from paying about $100 for five pills to paying almost $200 for ten pills. Unfortunately, fertility drugs are not covered by insurance. Lame, huh?

Friday night was my first time to take the two "Clo-pills".  I hardly have enough time to take a swig of water before they start melting on my tongue, and they taste terrible. 

I woke up Saturday with a terrible stomachache. My tum was swollen and made really weird noises all day.  It was like I could hear my body reacting.  I felt some mild throbbing sensations in my ovaries, which were also a bit swollen. "A bit" actually meant that I could literally see two lumps where my ovaries are located, and I could feel them, from the outside, as well. Fortunately that went away by the end of the day. 

I have said this before, Clomid makes me feel good. It is so bizarre. I feel more collected, calm, happy(?) when I am on it (obviously minus the stomachache).  This is completely opposite of what I have read in online blogs and forums where Clomid was described as such a crazy pill.  I'm thankful I have not had any real issues with it yet.

So now I'm on cd 8. I had talked to Gina, my dr's p.a.-I should've just mentioned her name the first time-about having my follicles checked. She said they did that around cd 11, which would be Saturday for me. I guess I should call and maybe schedule something for this Friday (cd 10) or Monday (cd 13). I have a slight feeling like I might be bothersome or annoying, calling and asking for these appts, but I wash that feeling away with my incredibly surplus-ing feeling of wanting to do anything possible to help me achieve pregnancy. 

Gotta do what you gotta do, -Natalie

Round three

I'm nervous.

Two nights ago, while sitting in the most fabulous book group, I'll have to share about it later, but check out two great reviews here and here -thank you Anna and Ericka- anyways, while sitting there my dr.'s p.a called.  She said that after discussing my last cycle's mess, that my dr. wanted to double my Clomid dose this month. Cue my nerves.

So, for my next cycle, on cd 3, instead of taking one 50mg pill of Clomid, I will be taking two. Did I mention that that is today...? Yes, I am in a new cycle-relieved to move on from the last confusing cycle-and today is cd 3.

I have talked with my dr's p.a every night this week since Monday. It's kind of ironic, because Tuesday during the day, I was discussing with a friend that I was considering switching doctors. I felt like I wasn't as much of a priority as the girls who were already pregnant. However, as soon as I vocalized my concern, I have been in communication with that office every night since. It's a relief, I've been with my dr. since I was 19, and I really do like her.

I guess I'm finally coming to terms with the fact that I did not O last cycle, even though I was on Clomid. There are really two factors that have me so nervous about doubling my Clomid dose. First, I definitely noticed a change in myself while on Clomid. It was a relief that I didn't feel like a crazy person, but I did feel a little out of sorts at times. Will doubling my dose make me a crazy person?

Yikes. Remember her? I wonder if she was on Clomid...?

What is it going to do to my body? I could feel the single dose's affects on my body. Will this be worse?

Second, what if it works?

Haha, I know...that's the whole point, but again, what if it works? The feeling that this question gives me is kind of indescribable. A few words that do come to mind: oh my goodness, ahh, eee, (huge breath suck-in).... It's a nervous, anxious type of feeling.

I have prepped Matt for what I feel might come: more anti-emotions (where I don't care about other's feelings), weight gain (I reeeeally hope this doesn't happen, being that it's holiday season DOES NOT help), and lower stomach pains. I explained to him that these symptoms are what I have to go through for us. So naturally, he has to sacrifice and endure some things, too. Example: instead of picking battles, getting used to just waving a white flag,

giving more love than I deserve,

Might be necessary.

and complimenting me in my favorite pink sweat pants.

I refuse to buy larger sized jeans-you know, the comfy kind that you slip on when you get home. My comfy jeans have become my normal jeans. I refuse to gain weight, too, but it seems like with Clomid, I don't have much say in that.

So, if you see my sweet husband, please be extra nice to him. I'm going to try my hardest to be the sweetest southern belle I can be, but girls, we all know sometimes we can just lose our grip on hormones and they can get the best of us. Woopsie....

"Just listen and nod, listen and nod..."

Thankfully, it's such a jolly time of year and I have a wonderful family and amazing friends. I need you this month! I'm strong, but still a little scared. Thank you for being there for me, I already know you will be. :)

Ho, ho, hormonal, -Natalie

This shizz is confusing!

Let's just jump right into it.

I had my progesterone tested last week. With it being a holiday week, I was prepared to not hear back for a few days. (...and I do hope everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving!)

According to fertility friend, I had a possible "start of a new cycle 1 day" (aka: period.) of this past Friday, which would have been cd 30. Fertility friend has not picked up an O for this cycle yet. In fact, my chart has been super confusing. On cd 19, I had a temperature spike...you'll remember that from a previous post. However, I never had a sustained temperature rise. Over our anniversary weekend, I had another temperature spike, but again, no sustained rise. Usually, you will see a definite shift in temperature change from your follicular phase to your luteal phase. Unfortunately, this has not happened for me this month.

On Monday, after still not hearing from my dr., I called and was given my progesterone results. They said that my levels were really low, which indicated to them that I did not ovulate. Meaning, that no egg was released to be fertilized. Let me school you further: when an egg is released from the follicle that holds it, the hormone progesterone is also released. Progesterone is a hot hormone and warms your body, thus making your temperature rise. Since my progesterone level was low, they assume I did not ovulate.

Today is cd 34 for me. I don't know whether to be excited that I'm "late" or if I should still be waiting to ovulate.

I am on Clomid! Clomid is supposed to MAKE me O! I had several symptoms indicating to me that I did O. Maybe I could be an exception? Because this is so very confusing, I'm dying for more information. I'm thinking about asking for an ultrasound to check out my follicles. I still feel sensations going on, so it's worth it to me to check it out.

Hopefully I will know more soon. I still have one month to conceive before 2011 is over, which is my goal!

Still scratching my head, -Natalie

Stick it to me

I'm getting my progesterone levels tested next Monday!!

What the heck does this mean? Well, don't worry. I put on some good research music and got to researching for us!

It's not a good or bad thing. ...but I am excited. Like my good friend Anna said on my facebook page, it's pro-active!

In a nutshell, progesterone testing gives information on how I ovulate. My blood is drawn, and hopefully in a timely manner, my dr. will call to give me the results. They are checking my levels of progesterone to see if I'm ovulating, when I ovulated, basically verifying that I am ovulating normally.

Kind of similar to the way my temperature rises after I have O'd, my levels of progesterone should raise as the egg is released (O) and then continue to rise for several days, falling down if I start my cycle over, or continuing to rise if I am pregnant!

Here is an interesting little tidbit: My progesterone levels would be higher if I am pregnant with multiples. Eek!

I have a very small increased chance that I might have twins from Clomid. Small.

My husband would tell you he would rather get it all done at once. Me? If it happens, it happens and I will feel so very blessed and happy to be pregnant with either one or two babies.

...and might I add this. I despise needles getting any where near me. Truly fear it.

Yep. This is how I always imagine it.

...but I'm getting my flipping progesterone levels tested!!! I'm getting closer to having to apologize for my lack of posting because I have a baby on my arm, I have a baby keeping me up all night, I have a baby that just wants me to adore him/her all day long, etc.!!

"Oh! So sorry! I've been too busy to write.
My biggest dream came true

and I am the happiest girl in the universe...."

This is going to be me soon! I can just feel it!

Big smile, -Natalie

O, no!!

Not cool. Not cool at all.

Last cycle: O-CD 23
Two cycles ago: O-CD 24

After taking my temperature this morning, I got an unexpected surprise. ...and I wouldn't necessarily call this one a good surprise.

My temperature spiked today. Yesterday, my temperature dipped. O has not been confirmed by three consecutive temperatures, but it appears to me to be glaringly obvious that I O'd yesterday, on an unplanned, mere CD 19.

Uhhhh...and yesterday while I was aware of this small dip my temperature did (it went from 96.8 to 96.23, and then this morning to 97.05) I thought it was because I might have been cold or something.

HOW NOVICE OF ME?!

I am more educated on this stuff than that! If you are cold, or hot, no matter how you feel on the outside, it is not reflected what your temperature is basal-y.

I am so frustrated with myself. I thought I had until this coming Friday or Saturday. Yesterday, when I should have been totally focused on TTC, I spent most of the day shopping. Then I had dinner with my sister. Then I looked at all of my treasures I had purchased the rest of the night, waking up Matt in the process and not putting myself to bed until a little after 2:00 AM. Yes, really.

Hope may not be completely lost though. There is still a chance that it could happen for us from some unintentional TTC. Pre-game warm up if you will? (Note: You can become pregnant from an encounter that could have happened up to five days before O, and nothing in between.) It will just not be according to my plan.

...but maybe that's the whole point of this potenial early O.

Ah, an epiphany has come to me through typing the thoughts as they come. Since when has my plan ever been better than what God has blessed me with?

I surrender. -Natalie

Blessed are those who put their trust in the Lord.

Psalm 2:12

Get..that..dirt off my shoulder!

Somehow, taking candy from a baby has now become funny.

I started to write this blog last week. It's crazy how in so short of time videos such as the one above can already be described as yesterday's news. I still think it's incredibly funny though. Surely many of you have already seen it, but to give it a little synopsis: Jimmy Kimmel asked parents to film their children while telling them they ate all of their Halloween candy. Check it out if you haven't seen it!

My shoulders are officially dusted off from last cycle's "practice" and this month I am again ready to see if we can, eh hem, score. (...? Please excuse the bad pun.) 

Anyway, my 3rd wedding anniversary is coming up! That's right, me and my husband have been married for almost 3 years...and I have been in love with the guy for 8 years!!

This is in 2005 I think. We rode bicycles to a park, spread a blanket on a hill, and watched Endless Summer.

...and this is a few months ago in San Diego!

Our big anniversary weekend falls in my most fertile time!!

...brown chicken brown cow!

For our anniversary last year, Matt reserved us a room at the Mayan Princess in Port Aransas. We had an aaaaamaaaazing time! The hotel was gorgeous. We even had a huge jacuzzi in our room!

So nice!

The Mayan Princess in Port Aransas, Texas

It was such a romantic weekend, with the exception of Matt breaking one of our wedding champagne flutes; note: if you are going to make a toast, make sure the stem of your glass is clear of the ice-bucket. :) We ate dinner at our favorite place in Port Aransas, Shells!

Shells in Port Aransas, Texas

A quick review on Shells from yours truly:

When you first step into the restaurant, it is immediately evident how low key the place is. Actually, the outside is also nothing fancy or eye catching. If you didn't know any better, you might think it's just this quaint, little bistro...to me though, it is more of a hidden gem. There is no real foyer area, so once you open the door and step inside..you're in the restaurant.

...but the food, ....oh, the food. It is quite simply delicious. I consider myself to be some-what of a foodie: a person devoted to refined sensuous enjoyment (especially good food and drink). I can appreciate even the simplest of things about good food and drink, like for example keeping hot food hot and cold food cold or perfect temperatured beverages. It is apparent that Shells shares my sentiment on this and other things. They also keep a pretty good selection of wines that you can pair with some of my favorite entrees, such as the Grouper with Sage Brown Butter, Veal Rib-eye with Green Peppercorn Dijon Cream Sauce, or the Chipotle Cream Pasta. The flavors of each dish are delicate and everything is cooked to perfection. My mouth is watering as I type this! Long story short, you must try Shells if you can!!

Since we had such a fabulous time last year, we absolutely intend on repeating it this year! Our anniversary is on a Tuesday, but we will celebrate it the weekend before...especially since I will O either that Friday, or Saturday!!
I'm on CD 14 today and I'm still feeling pretty good. I haven't noticed any weight gain this cycle, and hopefully won't either. Oddly enough, I have found myself losing some of my appetite when I eat. Maybe this Clomid isn't very consistent, IDK. My emotions are still in check and I feel pretty light-hearted. I'm happy and hopeful. Life is good.

Now, BRING ON A BABY!!

Again, please?, -Natalie

Three Little Birds

"I always like to look on the optimistic side of life, but I am realistic enough to know that life is a complex matter." -Walt Disney

Today is the day that I share that I am not pregnant from last month's "perfect timing" cycle. It took me a few days to get my mind and heart intact to actually write that I am without a doubt not pregnant. Isn't it crazy that you can get everything right and it's still not good enough?

I started taking Clomid again on Saturday, which was CD 3 for me. Today I am on CD 6 and feeling pretty good. Well, as good as can be.

It's ok, it's ok, it's ok...I have to remind myself, "It's ok!". It will happen when the time is right. I just really thought that I had such a strong chance. This might sound a little silly, but I feel inclined to even apologize to my readers...I know a few of you have high hopes for me, too. I really appreciate all of the nice messages and thoughtful things that are said to me. It's funny that in addition to the way I feel about not being pregnant, I feel bad for my readers as well. I had hoped to share good news with you.

So now I am in my second Clomid cycle. I hadn't mentioned this before, but last time (2 cycles ago) I took Clomid, it made me gain like almost 10 lbs!! This time I'm trying to be really aware of what I'm eating, how much I'm eating, and the exercise that I now HAVE to do. I lost most of what I gained last cycle, but not all. I cannot afford to gain it back or even worse, more weight than last time, NO WAY JOSE!

It is weird how Clomid can be kind of numbing. That extra boost of estrogen is almost like a punch in the stomach-literally I get a bit of a stomachache, but also figuratively-, especially after the woes that the progesterone made me endure. I have gone from crying at the drop of a hat the last 2 weeks to now feeling extremely nonchalant. Maybe it's a blessing? I haven't cried or gotten emotional about still TTC. I have taken one day at a time, still praying, but not wallowing. I think that's all I can do, right?

"As I look forward, I'm very optimistic about the things I see ahead." -Bill Gates

Me, too, -Natalie

No means NO! Shouldn't it?

**Warning: This post contains information that may be TMI for some.**

I hope to keep this one short and sweet mostly due to the fact that my mood right now could be simply summed up with "ugghhh" as I frown and look down to the side......

Why can't "no", just mean "no" in the pregnancy test world?!

I am on CD 34 and I am 11 DPO. I have currently seen 4 BFN pregnancy tests every morning since CD 8. What's frustrating, is that as much as I want a BFP, it is hard when I see a BFN because I know that there is still a chance that it could be positive. My luteal phase is 15 days and I am not yet what most consider "late". It might seem crazy that I don't like the "maybe" that a negative pregnancy test gives. The only thing that is crazy right now is me, and it's because of these negative tests. Can't we just rip it away like a Band-Aid instead of these steady negatives I have been receiving?

The easy solution would be for me to not test until after I am past 15 DPO. Then I would know that I had missed my normal CD 1. The problem is that I have seen successful charts in Fertility Friend, and many of the women get BFP tests as early as 8 DPO.

Then there are the symptoms....(and here is where some TMI is)

•  My boobs literally feel like they are about to burst out of my skin. Swinging my arm into the sides of them hurts. Getting undressed for bed hurts. This has been going on since late last week.
• Mood swings. The last 2 weekends in a row I have found myself crying over something. Today I could kick a ball. I could punch a bag. I could really kick or hit anything. I feel really tense and I just think putting force into kicking or hitting would feel really good.
• Extra hormonal. I saw my dentist last week and was told that it appeared I must have something extra hormonal going on because of more-than-normal bleeding in my lower gums.
• Spotting. Since 9 DPO I have been spotting sometimes dark brown sometimes faint pink. Implantation? I feel like 3 days of spotting may be too long for implantation, but IDK.

As a woman who is TTC, what is also frustrating is that these symptoms COULD be early pregnancy symptoms, BUT they COULD also just be normal little 'ol PMS. Blech.

So for the next 4 days I will continue to go to sleep with plenty of hopes and prayers and wake up testing. My heart doesn't really even flutter when I test anymore. It is all kind of matter of fact. At the back of my mind I hope to see a positive, but at the front of my mind I fully plan on seeing another negative-I still analyze the silly stick from all different angles though.

Hanging out on the lower end of my TTC roller coaster, -Natalie

Sometimes you feel like a nut...

Almost to the mid-point of the icky 2WW.

Today I am 5 DPO. On Monday, I put my third consecutive high temperature into Fertility Friend, and got my cross-hairs to display-separating my follicular phase (the phase where the follicles prepare to release an egg) and my luteal phase (the phase after ovulation has occurred).

Here is an example

Implantation usually occurs about a week after ovulation. Sometimes, your temperature will take a dip during implantation. This morning my temperature shot up to 97.9, the last couple of days it has been at 97.6. I'm curious to see what it will do the next few days.

I was extremely hopeful last month. I cannot help but be extremely hopeful this month. Our "talking" time was impeccable. These "conversations" can actually also be inputted into FF, and we scored high, no pun intended.

Yessss!

Some of my friends have concerns that I might become, or already am, too consumed with worry and stress about TTC. Honestly, it has its ups and downs. Yes, becoming pregnant would make me indescribably happy, but not being pregnant yet is not something that is breaking me or making me crazy. Faith is what keeps me from not going crazy. I am still active in trying however-and this is why I take and record my temperatures. I think there is a difference between being active in TTC and being obsessed.

Nothing is more frustrating than when I am told, "just relax...and let it happen...." If you have the knowledge and the tools to allow you to actively pursue the MIRACLE OF LIFE, (miracle: an extraordinary event. You have hours in a day out of a month that this happens, and only a 20% chance even if you get everything right.) then why the heck not utilize them?

Well, I just had a little rant the last couple of paragraphs, didn't I?

Haha...I have been kind of (my sister will tell you "really") emotional the last few days. Extra hormonal? On Sunday, I hardly made it through our church service. I literally was crying my eyes out and breathing in a way that came out pathetically choppy. Why? ...because they had changed all of the familiar church songs that I love. It makes me sad, but normally I wouldn't be so noticeably distressed.

Weird question: Many people often smell asparagus while in the loo shortly after eating it and even the next day..I am one of those. Today, while I was straightening my hair, I smelled asparagus! Has this ever happened to anyone?? I was in the guest bathroom, too...not the one I use to actually go to the bathroom in.  IDK....

Matt seeing me like this would never in a zillion years happen...I just thought this was cute. :)

Maybe just a little crazy, -Natalie

O! ...there you are!!

Well, helloooo temperature spike!

That's right, this morning I saw my temperature jump from 96.8 allll the way to 97.6 degrees. I am currently on CD 24. Last month I O'd CD 22, and this month Fertility Friend predicted I would O on CD 24. My body decided to compromise with CD 23.

I was kind of worried that with such a crazy month...multiple time changes between Hawaii, back to Texas, then to Florida, and then back to Texas...I would have a difficult time tracking my temperatures. BUT, I somehow managed and everything just kind of fell into place!

Let me tell you a little about Florida.

We, Matt and me, FIL and MIL, arrived in Orlando on a Friday and after picking up our rental car, we made the hour long drive to The Villages-the mecca for "active adult retirees"- where FIL and MIL have a house.

One of the town squares in The Villages

It really is gorgeous there. It rained the entire weekend, but we enjoyed strolling through one of the town squares that first night, seeing what different vendors had to offer while listening to a local band play and sipping on wine. The next morning we had a yummy Dutch-inspired (by Matt's Opa) breakfast that consisted of a variety of toasted breads, cheeses, and deli meats. We drove to a HUGE flea market and spent the day shopping around. That night and the next day we kind of lazied around watching movies and lounging in comfy clothes.

In The Villages, golf carts are the vehicle of choice!

On Sunday we were to drive back to Orlando where we would be staying at the Gaylord Palms Hotel for the next couple of days. It was unknown to Matt and me if we would be sharing a room with his parents. Since I knew the next week would be my most fertile time, I asked Matt to mention it to his parents that we would prefer our own room. He couldn't do it. So that day, while at lunch, it was revealed that we would be sharing a room with MIL and FIL.

I felt my heart drop. I couldn't miss my window for the month! I tried to remain composed and finish the rest of my lunch, but I was very preoccupied with worry.  The drive to the hotel was long and I blamed my silence on car sickness, which was true, but it was a combination of that and my fretting. 

That night, after a few cocktails, MIL asked if I really hadn't known that we would be sharing a room and if I was ok. I confessed to my worries and she immediately scolded me (in the kind of way you want to be scolded, a relieving and understanding kind of way) for not saying anything. Before I knew it, the four of us were in the lobby getting Matt and me our own room. I was beaming with relief and gratitude. Opportunity not lost! (Side note: Yes, this was a bit awkward. ..but, we could not lose the opportunity for talking in our own room. It was important that we talked alone, every night.)

Inside the Gaylord: These are real plants. There are also alligators!

The next several days were filled with shopping, they have an amazing outlet mall, eating at yummy restaurants, and enjoying our stay in Florida. I also got to meet up with an old friend to meet her 3 week old baby! Krissy is the younger sister of one of my oldest and dearest friends, Nicole. Thank you Krissy for letting me come by and visit...and Nicole, I wish you could have been there to meet sweet Athen with me!

Me with sweet baby Athen

We returned Thursday morning and now as it is Saturday, I am trying to get back to normal life. I am happy to be getting back into the swing of things, and I am anxious to finish emptying my suitcase and get everything put away.

I am still carrying around the Clomid that I wasn't able to use this month. Prayers and good thoughts that perhaps this will be our month! I am still ever so positive and optimistic.

Please? -Natalie

Hawaii 2011

"The loveliest fleet of islands that lies anchored in any ocean."

-Mark Twain on Hawaii



In the wee hours of Monday we returned from our fun at ACL. We had about 2 hours to finish up packing (and squeeze in another pair of shoes into my carry-on...you can never have too many shoes!) before we had to leave for the airport. I didn't have enough time to let the butterflies flutter in my stomach, one moment we were at home, the next we were being seated in the plane.

You can give me all of the statistics on the safety of flying, but it doesn't do much for me; I do not enjoy flying. I am an intelligent woman, but I just don't understand how flying is possible. It boggles my mind, and when I am in the air...all I can think about is the space between where I am and where the ground is. Having a fear of heights doesn't help.

That said, it was nice to be so very exhausted from ACL weekend and from not sleeping Sunday night. I rolled my useless neck pillow up and switched from leaning on Matt to leaning on the window the entire flight. I thanked God when we landed in Houston. I thanked God when we landed in Honolulu. I thanked God when we landed in Kona. Flying for me is a very spiritual experience.

With the 5 hours we gained, we landed in Kona at about 3:30PM. We grabbed our Jeep rental and soon arrived at the Mauna Lani Resort where we were greeted with a beautiful lei and some delicious pineapple and mint punch.

Taken just as we stepped into our room with my handy iphone



Gorgeous view from our room

That night we had an outdoor dinner and feasted on delicious Hawaiian food. I tried to soak it all in and pace myself...I did not want my trip to escape from me quickly.  I despise the "time flies when you're having fun" feeling.

The next day we decided to do some exploring.  After having a lovely breakfast-you are seated outside where you are next to a gorgeous fish pond and are close enough to hear the ocean-we rented bicycles. It was so much fun! We rode along this trail that had historical markers all along it. The Big Island is half lush forest, half desert. We were on the desert side of it. There is black lava rock everywhere! It is beautiful and nothing like I have ever seen before. Once we returned from our bicycle ride, we jumped into the jeep and headed towards town. Along the way we found a seahorse farm! It was closed that day, but we were able to check out a beautiful beach.

An old cave we found on our bicycle ride

The beach by the seahorse farm

We had dinner at the Mauna Lani again that night and watched the sun go down.

Sunset before dinner

Early the next morning, we drove up to the Kahua Ranch in Waimea, Hawaii. We went horseback riding-the first time for me in years!-had a good 'ol barbecue, and napped on a hill while we were waiting for our bus ride back into town. There were two drawbacks to this day: first, while horseback riding, I lost one of my favorite earrings-very novice of me to have worn them in the first place, and I sunburned my lips-I should have known better. (Mom and MIL-I have 5 different types of SPF chapstick in my purse as I type this...it will never happen again.) We took the rest of the day nice and easy and had sushi for dinner in Kona. On the walk back to our car we stepped into a bar after hearing a great band play from outside it. We stayed as they played the last few songs of their gig and then called it a night.

Kahua Ranch

Pretty rainbow

Mine was named Freckles..he was pretty slow, but suited me just fine!

It tasted as good as it looks.

Although I didn't start Thursday in the best of spirits, the day ended up being one of my favorites. We finally were able to visit the seahorse farm, found a great beach to swim at, took part in some Hawaii graffiti, and went to a luau!! The waves that we swam in crash right on shore...fun, but a little dangerous. After getting flipped and meeting the sand of the shore on my back, I decided it was time for me to get out. I got over it quickly though.

Holding a seahorse!

Matt's little guy

The water was so clear!



Ahh!



My graffiti





Luau

A beautiful and delicious cocktail? Don't mind if I do!

Friday, we drove up the mountain and to the Mauna Kea Observatory and to the other side of the island. It's crazy watching your temperature gage drop the higher up you drive. We each ate our favorite meal from L&L, and then later that night had a fancy-pants dinner at the Canoe House.


Katsu chicken

At the peak of a mountain he hiked up



Loco moco: 2 beef patties topped w/ fried eggs



Kona clams

Ahualoa goat cheese salad



Prime strip loin

As much as I wanted the days to slowly go by, I was super eager for Saturday to come, it was my spa day! I began with a coconut-vanilla spa bath. It took place outside in this gorgeous tub made of black volcanic rocks and filled with fragrant, warm bubbly water that had hibiscus flowers floating on top. Unfortunately, I did not enjoy it that much. Crazy?! Yes. ...but I was facing the sun with a now swollen lower lip and I spotted TWO CREEPY LIZARDS peeping at me from various places in the rocks. The second lizard gave me no choice but to scramble out stark-naked when I saw it crawling by my head. Did I mention I'm terrified of lizards..? I switched my outside massage to inside and concluded the visit with a facial that made me feel like I was in heaven.

For our final night we went manta ray diving!! I still can't believe I did it. This was the deal I made with Matt though, since I refused to get into a helicopter we were given an opportunity to go in. It was SPECTACULAR. AMAZING. BREATHTAKING. What an experience to see such large creatures within inches of us! It was kind of terrifying though, returning to the boat a little earlier than others, without a light. I wondered what other large creatures could be sharing the water close to or under me. Thankfully we made it safe. We also met a fabulous couple from London that we enjoyed conversation with the entire way back and then some! So nice to have met you Lydia and Neil..we hope you enjoyed the rest of your honeymoon in Oahu and in Asia!


Ready to check the manta rays out!



We hold onto a surf board that has lights attached to it which  attract plankton. The manta rays feed on it!



Spa bathtub-after I leaped out



On our last day, I was really excited to get some more snorkeling in. We went to this really great spot that Matt had found. Aside from some pesky box jelly fish roaming around, the water felt so refreshing and we had an awesome time checking everything out.



Ha ha..I adore Matt's smile here



We sadly left the island late in the afternoon on Sunday and arrived back home at 10:30AM on Monday. I can't believe it has already been almost 2 weeks since we left! Tonight I am packing for Florida. We will be there for a week with MIL and FIL. (Should I add that to my abbreviations? It's mother/father-in-law.) I'm looking forward to it! Who said summer was the best time for vacations? We are going for fun and also for a dealer show.  I should be near O while I'm there, so...what's that saying?...if the van's a' rockin, don't come a' knockin? :)

Aloha, -Natalie